where I’ve been
You’re probably wondering, “what are you talking about Shannon? You haven’t left.” Physically yes, this is true. Mentally, not so much.
I know I’m not the only one when I saw my mental health has gotten worse since daylight savings ended and now that it’s the holidays. Normally I fare a little better but this year I am getting hit hard by it.
About two weeks ago I had the worst panic attack I’ve ever had and have been in a mental ‘funk’ ever since. My anxiety has been pretty heightened ever since I became a full-time artist back in August. It’s just a lot of added pressure. I’ve never been good with the unknown and doing this, being a full-time artist, I feel like that’s all it is, unknowns. Nothing in my life is consistent right now.
(Also I feel like this might be a weird first post on my blog but the main reason I decided to start this was so I could be more open and honest with you so maybe this is the perfect first post.)
It might not have seemed like anything was amiss because I was still posting on Instagram and posting to my stories but my intention was off and I wasn’t connecting. And I feel like that is something I’ve always had trouble with: being vulnerable, talking about myself and my struggles, or even just being silly. And I’m not sure why, maybe it’s that I’m scared that if I open myself up, what if you don’t like who you see?
But this is why I’m really excited (and scared) about this. It will be a much more permanent way for me to talk to you about anything and everything.
Another thing I feel like doesn’t get talk enough about it just how freaking lonely it is to be a full-time artist or just any kind of work where you work for yourself. Am I the only one that feelings this way? But please never hesitate to reach out; I’m always open to talk about anything.
Okay, I think I have rambled on for long enough. Regardless, I am very excited to explore this new outlet and I hope you’ll stick around and go on this journey with me!
With love,
Shannon
(reposted, orginially posted on December 5th, 2021)
